On Focus.

 

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Deuteronomy 31:6 – Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he [it is] that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.

I’ve been entertaining the thought of strength and what it means to be strong in a lot of things. How to be stronger in my relationships and in the things that I am involved. How to be stronger for myself in my life.  I marvel at the human language–I marvel at its use and  how it differs depending on levels of society. How a word can be celebrated in one culture and overused. While in another its looked down upon and almost criminal.

That’s why labels are important and they are only given when one feels need to organize something that appears in a state of chaos of sorts. Think about how in the beginning it took words to spin things in motion. A powerful Being spoke life into something that had not existed and it suddenly became. Isn’t that powerful?  Closing my eyes and imagining completely nothing and then there’s fast forwarded depiction  of life and color and creation. It’s amazing.

A word framed the earth’s capacity for God to fill it with wonder.

Words are powerful and on the other end, there are other ways that it can be used.

For example when people are in a stage of constant stagnation with almost minimal to small changes–we may try to explain it as a transition with a slow start –until that stage last two or three months or years…then it doesn’t feel like a transition anymore it’s rather failure to launch.

Or

When someone associates you with failure  and not being able to complete anything

Or

When you’re work is never validated by anyone or certain people always get shoutouts.

Or

Always being described in extremes like “always” or “never”

Knowing it and hearing it are two separate things. All of the sudden there’s frailty in our accomplishments and what we’ve done to get here and who we’ve become in a period of time.

I’ve been dealing with that.

I’ve been dealing with words and their changing definitions. How they’ve painted pictures that stuck with me and how they have hurt over a long long time.

I’ve been dealing with anxiety. I’ve been dealing doubt over what it is I am capable of doing.

I’ve been dealing with nametags and labels of what I use to be and choices that I had made in my life —in past relationships and the guilt of not having anything to say any more to the ones I loved.

There are certain things in one’s heart one struggles with in secret. There are certain things in one’s heart one wear proudly and some things that we just naturally want to draw attention away from. It’s human nature to appear bigger than what one is and to show our strength first before what’s hidden. To feel unstoppable amidst the race of life and complete in being able to meet the standard. The standard of  your peers and your family. The standard of your church members and leaders. The standard of your job and your bosses expectation.

Imagine you’re walking across a parking lot and sun is on your side.

At midday however metaphorically speaking your shadow is only as big as how close you are to the light. The light being representative of what you know and the darkness being what you don’t. You’re only as big as you can be in a room with a small light.

I’ve been struggling with not being enough. 

I’ve been struggling with not saying or doing enough and at the same time trying to appear as organized and as put together as I would like my desk on a Monday morning at work . Three neat piles of paperwork and cup with sharpened pencils and pens. Which FYI my desk never looks that neat 😕  What that looks like for me, though is me making decisions that I feel I am capable of doing myself. And when I meet half of what I expected I feel like a wreck.

Its 

     a   

         downward

                            spiral 

                                         of 

                                             negativity. 

 

I don’t have to tell you what it says because some of us are already familiar with what it says.  I find myself thinking, I have to be in control of this situation before its gets crazy.
It’s not the way God intended fo us to live our lives and it’s refreshing to be reminded of what he has put in place for us yes–but also what we are to do on our end to enjoy those things.Because there isn’t a point system for life, there isn’t a giant reward ceremony where you get a participatory sticker for showing up and doing what you could. Life is now and its reward whether forthcoming in the future or immediate demands attention and demands a discipline and managing. There’s only a reward for those who overcome.

I refuse to crumble under the pressures of the day and to fall apart.

It’s not my responsibility to fix it or hope it goes away. It’s my responsibility to adapt and succeed in dealing with well…life.

“Dwell in Possibility”- Emily Dickinson

It’s not my responsibility to make things perfect rather it’s in my shortcomings where God is able to display his beauty and strength.

I’ve learned that it is up to me frame my day.  You must refuse to let those negative things get in focus. It’s up to us to put those things into focus. The things that I am in hope for and for the things I cannot see I can still expect them to become. That my imagination and vision becomes free and that I am able to see those things that I asked for and that all the other words and labels will fall away and dissolve. Because it doesn’t  matter what everyone else is saying or hasn’t said. It doesn’t matter.

I have the same power to create worlds with my words. I have the power to create how my day goes. I have that power…to frame my life

Matthew 14:22-33
22 Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd.

23 After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone,

24 and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.

25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.

27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

29 “Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

Anxiety.jpgPeter lost focus. He was bold and daring enough to be called out to be used as  a demonstration of Jesus power and ability. But because he lost focus and his vision became clouded by the impossibility of it all and he lost it. It’s easy for the days in the week to suddenly amount to waves. It’s easy for the small problems to suddenly become breakers and currents. It’s easy to feel like everything is over your head. …

But we have an anchor, a strong and steady thing to which we can cleave to.

Faith is not feeling its a decision. And we won’t faint at the first sign of impossible.

I have to frame what I allow for my heart to believe.  I have to frame what I allow for my eyes to see and what words fall from my lips. The Word I take in daily is for my heart, that it will remain sink less and in meditation on the goodness of God. Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see and I can be confident  in what’s in store for me. Because God has not lied to me before and he’s not in the habit of breaking his promise to anyone of us.

Here’s to us framing this week

 

 

Never Stop Becoming Friends,

 

Word of the Day:

Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.

Matthew 24:35

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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