Well, Valentines Day came and went.
I went shopping, I bought a great outfit for this weekend because I am preparing myself for life, days beyond Valentine day.Most likely a lot of us have seen FB post or Instagram about what “bae” did and what was received. Hopefully, if you did respond it was from a good place in your heart and if you didn’t—good job too (you’re still awesome). This month I had made it my personal duty to talk about things that I had an issue within all sects but mainly were African American Community (AAC) and Church cross and if not where they should.
Because there is a definite gap between what is read in the Bible, what’s expected and the strange loyalty to misguided points within the AAC. All last year and this year a lot has gone on and in February, African American History Month allows us to conduct an autopsy on ourselves and I don’t think this opportunity should be passed.
Boaz! Boaz! WHERE ARE YOU?
Something that I have experienced is the constant outpouring (?) of Boaz-ism (I made up the word, don’t judge). It’s familiar to a lot of us, hundreds of women are gathered in the church for a woman’s conference and the pastor wails away on the promise of the Bible of what exactly? That there are Boaz’s out there and the means of getting him are different…depending on what scripture we choose to focus on in the story. We’re encouraged to wait. We walk out filled with a Hallmark kind of hope (short-sighted and story-like) that we’ll have that moment..you know..like you’ll be in Walmart and Boaz will pay for your groceries and suddenly declare his love for you.
I don’t need to tell you how dangerous..or how weird that is. Then there are all these quotes that I have even found myself thinking that aren’t necessarily correct and are damaging.
- I gotta look for my Boaz (this hints to me searching him out)
- God’s gonna bring him in, I just got to wait. (this hints to God bearing the full responsibility and all the work), while you’re living your normal life. Refusing to change anything and literally sitting and waiting.
When it doesn’t happen:
We find ourselves easily outdone and exhausted of hope in trusting in the tangible plan that God has for us. Then easily falling for our perception of love everywhere…and feeling disenchanted with the outlook of ourselves and our present partners. ..
The book of Ruth, was an intentional break in the prophecy books at a time where Israel was disobedient, displaying what happens when God’s people are willing to obey. We’re making a mistake looking at the supposed benefits of her obedience which in laymen terms would look like “she got a man”. I feel like this focus speaks to the detriment of single black women. I’m willing to admit that I too at one time of my life felt like I had to discover the “secret” ingredient in Ruth’s story in order to gain the ultimate price, a kind rich guy. I too missed the point of the story being obedience, submitting to the will of God and learning to trust in His way.
I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t always listen. I don’t always do what I know to do. But I always wanted the benefit, I was placing unrealistic terms on myself of what I needed to do to attract what I thought I wanted. I attracted some weird stuff too, doing it on my own (:?) I chose to ignore the realities of Ruth and I wasn’t honest with myself about how my other friends happened to find these great relationships and they weren’t even trying.
Why would I want God in the process?
I make and have made mistakes. I cannot tell you how many times I had kind of had an eye for someone and we’d be in the process of getting to know each other. All of sudden, there’d be red flags coming up everywhere of things that were said and things just started to come to light and I was made aware of them. It was then that I had to make a decision to step out and walk away. It isn’t always easy but for the sake of inner peace in my heart and having a clear head I haven’t regretted it…
At the same time, I am not blind to possibility and probability of my situation. You have to put yourself in places and position yourself, your thinking and really your life for what having relationship looks like…in real life, and in real time.
What do you think? Do you feel like a lot of women are overinterpreting the story? I want to know what you think….